Josh is leaving and so is my blog for now...

Does life ever get to you? Well it has me. Some things have got to go. The blog for now is one of them. I used to LOVE writing, and scrapbooking, I am just not feeling it anymore. I've shifted focus to my kids and running. Adios, for now.

Miss Me?

Blogging has not found its way to the top of my priority list these days.

I have time for a quick update this morning before I take my "teenage" daughter to the mall for some one on one time.

About a week ago Josh came home! He is here for a 2 week 'vacation' to get my head above water, and then leave again. We kept it a secret because his parents were coming in town to watch the kids for a special weekend getaway for me. They were so surprsed to pull up and see Josh and the kids. I just know they had a great time without the pesky daughter in law lingering!

I, too, had a weekend filled with adventure. It was a much needed respite. Thanks to some great friends I was able to come back with new focus and perspective.

Life is not easy, but we are meant to have Joy. Just reminding you to Find Joy in your journey today!

Happy Hopeful New Year to you!

Breathe a Sigh of Relief

The results came in this morning, Laila's MRI came back normal.

Thanks a million times over for the prayers, fasting, and positive thoughts sent our way. We continue to hope that we can figure out the best way to help her.

On a side note, I got to ride in my first ambulance ride with Charlie yesterday. She fell off the couch at the dentist office onto a cast iron coffee table, and had a massive bump, and was bleeding out of her eye. The dentist said do you want me to call 911, and of course I was a total mess, and said "Do I need an ambulance?" We called the pediatrician, they said to get to the hospital, and so we did. Everything checked out, she's ok, looks a little battered, but is OK.

So... please don't ask what else could happen to me. I don't want to know.

I'm off to do my daily dose of exercise. Thanks again! Our family owes you.

Please Hold on the Phone Calls.

I've received so many phone calls and well wishes, and thoughts that I just can't keep up with everybody! Don't take it personal that I haven't returned a call. Remember I'm still managing a home with 4 kids! Life is busy.

Sometime this week we will have the results of the MRI. I promise to post the news as quickly as I can. Hopefully its good news.

But, I'm a bit overwhelmed, and need some time to just breathe.

I will keep you updated when I can. We originally thought we would get results today, but that has been delayed to the middle of the week. Again, I will let you know when I can.

Thanks again for the fasting, I appreciated it, and felt the strength.

Love you all!
Lucy

White Christmas, on its way!

If we are to get a big bad snowfall, it's only appropriate to have it the week before Christmas... I'm so excited. I'm heading out to pick up some snow pants for Hallie, Gloves for Laila and Hallie, a sled, and why not, a new pair of boots for me!!

We appreciate so much the well wishes with Laila, and for those who are supporting us this weekend, I already feel the boost.

Laila

Before the septic problems, like 2 days before, I knew I needed to make a decision about Laila. She has had so many random symptoms, and although the neurologist said we could do an MRI, I decided to wait it out, as Josh would be leaving. Needless to say, with the vomiting symptom, and a few other things, I realized I needed to proceed in the direction of a Brain MRI.

I wanted to wait to tell Josh, so that he wouldn't worry from 7,000 miles away, but the burden of everything came crashing down when I received the paperwork for the MRI in the mail yesterday. It's no small thing, and I need the support. I've been trying to do so much alone, that this is something I just couldn't do alone. I talked to Josh this morning, and of course he was as calm as can be, yet, trying to figure out if he should try and come home for the test. Our little Laila just can't exist without her buddy. We're not sure what's going to happen, if Josh can make it back. But we know they are looking for a Brain Tumor, which sounds bad, but, does happen in kids, and the prognosis is usually good. A surgery and some therapies. We are kind of torn because we want to help her in every possible way, and it is breaking my heart to watch her try to speak, and have all these weird symptoms that it might be nice to have a way to "fix" it. And yet, we are talking about a tumor.

So, friends and family, we are having a special fast on Sunday. We are not looking for a fast that it is not a tumor, although that would be great! We need your strength and support right now. So if you wouldn't mind fasting that our family can have the strength we need, and that no matter what Laila will be in the best care.

Laila will be going in on Wed. Dec. 23 at noon. It requires a Pediatric Sedation Team, and will last approximately 45 minutes. We will probably not have results until the Monday after Christmas, which happens to be Josh and I's 10 year wedding anniversary. We will keep you posted as best we can! Who knows, maybe Josh will be home for Christmas after all! Remember, I'm finding Joy this week.

Thanks everyone, and eventually I'll post some pictures again, I promise...

Have you ever had one of those weeks?

Sigh. Long week. Long Day.

I'm looking forward to Monday. It's going to be a new week. And I'm on the hunt for some Joy in my Journey.

Hopefully it won't be as hard to find as this past week.

Thanks to all those that helped in the smallest to largest of ways.

SH!T HAPPENS.

And it happened to me. I awoke from my slumber after a long night of rain, to find that my bedroom smelled a little off.

Raw Sewage was spewing from my washing machine's drain pipe.

A cleaning Crew came.

A 500 deductible paid.

Brand Freaking New carpet cut out.

Remember those Christmas presents next to the Washing Machine? Yeah, no longer.

A Septic Truck came and sucked out 2500 gallons of water (my tank holds 1000) and it's full again.

A back hoe is parked out front.

A 1500 dollar bill to be paid.

Determines that I might need a new Drainage Field. Could be 8,000 to 25,000 dollars. You read that right.

Merry Christmas to my family.

We got Sh!t for Christmas.

I'm not bitter, really I'm not.

Wanted: Hiding Places.

I know there are those who don't like to "lie" to their children. So they don't tell them about Santa, or his reindeer.

But I relish in it. I lie to them all the time when I tell them I'm the greatest mom in the world, and that they're lucky to have me. Or when I say I LOVE going to church, it's so much fun! And I absolutely believe in allowing my children to believe.

However, I'm discovering that as my kids get smarter, Santa has to, too. No longer is the closet a safe place, thank GOODNESS the UPS man came during the school week, that could have been catastrophic. I am certainly hoping Colson doesn't happen on to my blog by accident. He would be devastated. He's been trying to be good for all of one hour.

Anyway, I'm running out of places to stuff presents, and room in my brain to remember them. So far (next to the washing machine, next to the water heater, in the nazi closet (explanation for another day), up in my closet, under a seat in the car. This list is just to help me remember when it's late at night Christmas Eve and I'm wrapping presents alone... and Can NOT find that other thing!!

Merry Christmas to all!

Record Keeping

Laila is on a 30ish day cycle of vomiting. Every 30 days in the morning she throws up. It's been going on for about a year, but I've only started documenting it the last couple of months. Lucky you. She threw up this morning, and I'm keeping track. For my doctors who don't seem worried. I'm not crazy. She seriously does it once every month.

I feel the love!

Thanks everybody for your sweet thoughts and wishes... I should post more often like that. It's great to hear how you all are thinking of us!

I'm feeling much better (today, at least).

I have started to think about all the blessings I've been given. Seriously, ME. Of all the good people in the world, I get MY kids. Yeah they are work, and they outnumber me, and half of them, I'm required to change regularly, and they dirty clothes a lot. BUT, they love me. They think I'm the best cook in the world. They think I'm the greatest mom because I let them get their art stuff out. If only I could love others so easily.

My newest goal for the month is to see others as my kids would see them. Excited for their small successes (i.e. mini meatloaves) and cheer for them in a small way.

Why not? It's a great season to love.

S.O.S.

All I want for Christmas is a Full-Time Nanny!!

Never has a deployment been so difficult. I'm not sure why. I've tried to think about it, I mean I've added another kid this time around. But surely, that's not it. After all, what's one more?!?

Things that don't get done when your husband is gone:

Laundry
Groceries - you should see what kind of concoctions I come up with!
Automobile Repairs - I'm due for an oil change, and I have a broken door, how am I supposed to be without a van for 2 days, with 4 kids????
Lawn care - I mow when I can, but I can NOT start the stupid weed wacker/trimmer thing! There are some places with some seriously long grass. Pine Needles EVERYWHERE: I can't start the blower either.

But generally, stuff gets done it just takes me ten times as long, so I've created a black hole of housework that I will never climb out of.

Finally, taking care of kids. Each one is demanding attention, that I just don't have. It feels like I'm consistently letting down someone.

Anyway, I need to get going, I have to shop for the kids online, and I may just spend the extra to have the gifts come wrapped!!

Hope you're enjoying the Holiday Season as much as I.

Happy Thanksgiving (a little early I know)

Tomorrow will be busy as I'm cooking, and taking care of the kiddos. I really want to just enjoy the day with them. I'm plotting a little football in the backyard. When you have as many kids as I do, it's really not that hard! :)

Anyway, what's Thanksgiving without a little gratitude?

I'm grateful for these unexpected little things: Automatic Garage Door, New Towels, Pomegranites, Brown Eyes (Hallie can be so ornery, but I love looking at her deep brown eyes), Sign Language, Murphy's oil soap, the Ensign, Fresh Flowers, Filtered fridge water, Josh's Clothes (it's how I've kept him close), Kaboom Toilet Bowl Cleaner, Christmas CD's, online Christmas Shopping, slick writer pens, fresh clean sheets, shop vac, old friend phone calls, garden pruners, tissues, and The Colts, to name a few.

I'm also most grateful for my testimony and my family. Both of which make this challenging time seem not so challenging.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Updated Link

Here's the link for the toys, I mentioned in the previous post!


It was a TODAY special Value - and they ended at midnight - which is why some of you landed on some cashmere sweater!

Still worth the cost! We're talking hours of enjoyment, HOURS!

Remember my recent Christmas Post?

Well, last year my in laws got the perfect toy for Christmas - literally every age has a blast with them - and I just noticed - QVC is offering them as the Today Special Value.

I'm a QVC junkie I admit it. BUT - if you're looking for the unexpected PERFECT gift - these toys are it! My kids (boy and girl, 3 different ages) and their friends of ALL ages have LOVED these!

Plus you can chalk it up as a learning toy!!

HAVE FUN!

Again I attempted the impossible.

The Seasonal Christmas Card Photo.

Why? Do you really want to see my children this time of year? Who do I do this for? Is it for me? For three of the past Christmas' I leave me out because Josh is out, so it would be weird to have just me and the kids. Last year I paid. An arm AND a leg, AND another arm and leg, to get semi-decent pictures. Still, why?

Now I've created this unfortunate tradition for me. I dressed up the kids in their SO CUTE matching outfits, got creative again and drove the tractor with the trailer out to the front yard. Set up my pose - Colson driving the three girls. I took at least 100 photographs. Seriously. Do you think I would get ONE amazing shot? Nope. So after all the work of getting them in their outfits, I have one final hope for my picture.

Becca, My Sister, A graphic designer, PLEASE HELP ME. I made her promise that since it was MY IDEA for her to go back to school I can get her assistance for free. But if YOU want some help editing your family's Christmas Portrait (I'm assuming I'm not the only one with unfortunate luck) I bet she could help you, too. (for a fair fee) I'm thinking she could photoshop my kids faces on some other fabulously taken photograph???

Laila has gotten into the Chocolate Chips and the Ginger snaps for breakfast, my house is a mess, and I'm blogging. Where are my priorities? I better get going she's signing for water. Wishing you and yours a blissful holiday season.

Please Remember the Veterans TODAY and ALWAYS. So many soldiers are alone for the holidays, what can you do? You can DONATE a "care package" here.

Trouble with a capital L.

My sweet innocent little Laila, has turned on me.

Today after nap she got up and instead of coming to see me with her thumb in her mouth, I could hear the pitter patter of her feet, and the dragging of a chair being scooted across the kitchen floor.

I quietly snuck up the stairs, because I LOVE to see mischief from the sidelines. (just not the aftermath)And from the corner of the kitchen I watched as she climbed up onto the counter, and then up to her feet, as she was sneaking gum. GUM - Her newest sign - THANK YOU NANNY JESS. I got her down and let her enjoy her piece of gum.

Fast Forward hours later, NOT paying attention. I find her back on the counter only this time, with 9 pieces of gum unwrapped, chewed, spit out, and a wad in her mouth.

What a girl.

Why MORE LAWS don't solve the problems of the world.

I've begun hearing about all the things that "could have, should have" been done to prevent the tragedy at Fort Hood. I can hear the people against carrying firearms now... if only we didn't have guns... More laws are not going to solve the problems, or even prevent the problems.

There's this thing called agency. People are free to choose good or evil. People can and will make poor decisions, and people can and will make good ones. It's called choice. But remember the shoe bomber??? And now everyone has to take off their shoes to fly?? We can't keep making laws and rules for these things. It would be impossible to prevent all tragedy. It just can't happen. Let's focus on what we can change, and that is our Moral Discipline. Choosing right, every time.

It's Moral Discipline and you can READ ALL ABOUT IT here.

Working out (and hard), Feeling Good

With all that has been going on here - total craziness - with four kids - I'm actually feeling good.

It's been almost 30 days of regular exercise - ok so maybe closer to 3 weeks, but I already feel a ton better, AND stronger. It's almost like my body is remembering the good ol' days before kids!

I started thinking about my Holiday Game Plan - (my eating game plan)- and thought that is just it! Have a plan! The treats that enter my door - half immediately to the trash. The other half we enjoy. The treats I make - 3/4 out the door! And finally plan some good choices and snacks to eat, so that there are healthy options for me to choose.

It's so much harder to lose than to gain - and this holiday season - I want to give a gift to me - and that's good health!