Thursday, June 11, 2015

Out with the old and in with the new?

I never write more than one or two days at a time. I can't seem to get in the groove of writing, although, I really enjoy the therapeutic benefits of writing about life, and all it's messiness. I sometimes go back and read various posts, and it's so weird to think about where I was and what I was thinking. It's also weird to have posts about an ex husband, who at one time, I loved. Do I stay in the same place, and keep life going on this same blog? Especially now with a new man on campus? I've debated it more than I care to admit, but truly. This is me. This is my life. It was natural to leave the scene of the crime. But I'm starting to feel like it's time to return to the healthier, happier version. I wish I could say life is all peaches and cream, but it isn't. Right now, I have one wish, one prayer, one thing I'm trying to do, and that is to be like Christ in one attribute. That attribute is "Full of Love". I have this terrible flaw of assuming the worst, and not trusting. Even at Panera when it was my turn to order, and the check out lady, literally did not look at us, turned her back, and didn't serve us. I stood there with my hands up like, what just happened... we waited a few minutes for the next person to serve us. I let that one moment ruin an entire meal (in fact, I still am hot thinking about it), I got so fired up. Is that what the Savior, who is full of love, would do? He wouldn't have thought about it for even a half a second. Love for all. I had to set a timeframe for my goal, and at first I was thinking one month I would work on this attribute. After about three days, I realized, this was going to be a doozy. I decided April 23, 2016 is my deadline, to meet my goal of having the Christlike attribute of "full of love". Seriously, this is going to take work people. Hard work.