The Birth Story - Mainly for me, it's long, so no need to read! I just wanted to write it while I remembered most of it. I promise pictures are in the works...
Four. That was the most for me. I knew after the first one, I would not fulfill my childhood dream of having EIGHT children, just like my dearest friends the Zinn's, who practically raised me, and kept me out of trouble. I loved their crazy busy family, and their fun stories. Even the ones that weren't so fun like when they told poor Marnie she was adopted and created a pretend adoption certificate and taped it in her baby book. Nope, after that first round of childbirth, eight was NOT going to happen.
Slowly but surely we added each precious soul to our family. We planned, protected, and conceived pretty much when we wanted to. I know, a blessing in and of itself.
And then there was a trip to Utah. My nonchalant ways caught up with me this time. My cocky attitude toward all those women (including my sister) who tell me, it was a surprise, or I was using protection, was slammed into my face. I mean how do "ACCIDENTS" happen? Well I know how they happen. They just do. And the Caboose was on its way.
The pregnancy, although not perfect, I was puking, and the placenta was in the wrong place at first, went fairly well. The stress of our lives during this pregnancy was extraordinary. I was barely hanging on. I tried to endure, to think positive, to remember those who long for babies and can't have them, but for the life of me, I was not looking forward to the Caboose. I felt guilty and yucky and like a terrible mother for the feelings I was having. I knew I wanted another baby, but right NOW?????? I. DID. NOT.
However, there was no stopping this train, it was in motion, and the nine months had begun. We went through all the yucky stuff, and finally had decided to move to Charlottesville. The job was promising, and the town was nice. (I had only been here once) We planned the move on the Army's dollar, not particularly the best of timetables, but we already knew that. We found temporary shelter, and amidst all this 'planning' I told Josh, if we have a girl (which almost the entire pregnancy is what I thought I was having) we should name her Charlotte.
At 38 weeks, we pull up to my town home, the first I'd seen it. Nice Enough, time to settle in, temporarily. With Aunt Suzanne in tow, and 3 kiddos, we unpack the necessities, leave the rest, clean and scrub bathrooms, floors, carpets, etc. Set up home for the imminent arrival of the Caboose. There were a few false alarms, consistently irregular contractions, a trip to the O.B., a drive by the hospital, a hike, some house hunting, and definitely some penny pinching as the double doozy of a rent and a mortgage hits the checkbook. All while we waited for the Caboose.
I awoke February 10th to some painful contractions around 4:30 a.m. These were not unfamiliar as I've had several the previous days, but I kinda had a feeling about these... Josh came home from work around 6:20 a.m. and I said I would take care of Colson, you just hop into bed. (I did not mention the contractions) I KNEW if today was the day, he needed sleep. I got up showered, and went about my day. All day long I had sporadic contractions of various intensities. They were driving me CRAZY! I couldn't tell if they were for real. I told Suzanne, I think it might be today, but I was going to wait to tell Josh. He had a meeting at 5 p.m. that he couldn't miss. I had to make it until then.
I took Suzanne to Lowe's and then Whole Foods. We came home, had dinner, and sent Josh off to work. I finally mentioned I thought I was in labor. Before he left, I had him give me a blessing. It was amazing. He blessed me with peace, and strength, and he said "as we complete our family..." and from this point on I am not sure what he said. I felt like my sacrifice of bearing four children would be acceptable to the Lord. That our family was on it's way. That each spirit that was meant to be with us, had come. It was beautiful, spiritual, and uniting in a way that I can't describe.
Off he went to work, as I lingered at home "waiting" for something, anything to happen. I called family and warned them, and while talking to my sister had a serious contraction that said, time to go. I called Josh at work, and discovered he was already on his way home. This was about 7:30 p.m. We ended up arriving to the hospital around 9 p.m. I was only at a 4, and it felt like I had a LONG way to go after an entire day of contractions. I was exhausted and petrified, to be sure. Laila's birth was not FAR from my mind, and with only a tylenol to dull the pain, it was NOT FUN. I literally was shaking, I was so nervous. I knew I didn't want an epidural, but I also knew I didn't want to push a baby out. How was that going to work???
They suggested I get in the whirlpool tub. OH MY WONDERFUL. DUH. Why do they not have these in EVERY birthing room in America?? Josh leaned over when I was in, and said you finally got your tub. So true. I was in that tub from 10:30 p.m. till about 12:30 a.m. Josh said to me during this tub time, this is your last chance what do you think we're having, I said a boy. "Yeah, me too." was his response... When I finally got out, I was a whopping 6 cm. I was exhausted, and could NOT believe how little progress I had made. But, the tub had calmed my nerves. In my head, during contractions I would say; Come what may and Love it, with a slight smile on my face. It's true. It was purely psychological, but I had to smile through the contraction. It became my ritual. After the news of the not so far along cervix, the nurse began to tell me about a medication, that would help me relax between contractions. I kept thinking about it, and finally said yeah I think I want it. She put in an I.V. and administered some miracle drug, I felt almost right away. It just relaxed me. I still felt the contractions but was able to calm down between them. I told Josh to climb into bed with me and I laid on my right side, and he just held me, close and tight. For 45 minutes. I thought about the last time I would experience birth. I told him I loved him, and that he was the love of my life. In 9 years, I have never felt more intimate, than the quiet minutes we laid on the hospital bed, as every so often I would have a contraction. Here we were husband and wife, together for the miracle of birth, for the last time. We both knew it.
Soon, my water broke, I immediately had him call the nurse in, she checked me, I was at a 9, when the next contraction hit, she wanted to see how far down the baby came. Apparently it was close, and called in the doctor. THE VERY NEXT CONTRACTION sent the baby through the birth canal. With no break, a second contraction came, and out she came. I can remember Josh's words during the birth: "You're doing great. I can see the head, oh, it's out!" I delivered laying on my right side, they tried to get me to turn over, but I had no time, the bed was still up, and there was NO ONE FOR THE BABY in the room. Just my nurse and the doctor. She came out like a rocket, the nurse said, it took "a half a push". Poor Linda (my nurse) and the doctor had their hands full! I have to say, I DID NOT SWEAR!! Yeah for me. I screamed like a wild animal, and made sounds no woman or man should ever hear, but kept my language in check.
The nurse said, what is it??? The doctor asked, well dad what is it?? And I hear Josh say, IT'S A GIRL. My caboose, Charlotte, had arrived. I held her, and cried, sobbed actually. The nurse came over and was patting my shoulder, as I cried, "This is our last baby".
The other nurses finally arrived to take care of baby, and no one knew what time she was born. They had to go and look at my contraction sheet to find the time of birth. I guess the nurse and the doctor were too busy to check their watches. It was shockingly quick.
I feel so blessed to have four healthy children. I feel a love for Josh like never before. Just like he said in my blessing: Our family is complete. Heavenly Father has blessed us four times over. We owe Him, our very best, as He has given us His.
24 comments:
I read and I cried. Lucy, that is a great great great story.
Congrats on your beautiful family!!!
Wow - what an amazing story and memory for the future Lucy. Thank you for sharing such an intimate portrayal of Charlotte's arrival. We wish you all the best in all of your journey's from here on!
Thank you for sharing that with us. It was beautiful.
ooh thanks for the tear jerker, I needed to clear my sinuses. Funny, having heard this story already, I feel like I was there with you along the way. Great writing!! I love your little family too and I know you can handle the whole train, for you are the Steam Engine. Love you sis! This was beautiful to read.... and of course Im dying to see some pics and maybe even edit some!!! no pressure though.
I teared up when I read that you told the nurse this was your last baby. That will be a bitter sweet moment. I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments and truly staying focused on your motto: "Joy in the Journey!" Really. I am amazed. You rock! I tell people about your story because it is so uplifting. Thanks for letting us all in on it. :)
Yeah! Finally an update, but we need pics!! I love the birth story. Sounds like it was the perfect way to have your last baby. And Josh did such a great job being there for you and being so in tune. I am happy for you guys. I need your address. I will be calling you for it. Can't wait to see Charlotte.
Love your little story of how your last little spirit made her entrance into this world. It was so nice to get the details. Although the actual birth details made me a little nervous for the next 10 wks. I am not in any hurry to find my hospital bed and have what I "think" will be our last baby. I am also anxious for pictures of this beauty. Josh sounded awesome during the delivery. I am so glad he was there for it this time as I know you are. Get some rest mama...advice that just doesn't seem practical especially after FOUR!
Wow--what a powerful story. Like Monique, I cried when you told the nurse it was your last baby. I love birth stories, and this is perhaps the best I've ever read. Thanks for sharing!
I read and cried too! Thanks for posting this Lucy! What a wonderful experience you had! I can't wait to see that wonderful little baby! Love you guys!
what a beautiful story. can't wait to see pics of charolette. congrats lucy, you are a rockstar! no epideral- you go girl
So many beautiful moments. I can't believe you moved at 38 weeks. You are super woman.
I loved talking to you this morning and reading Charlotte's birth story. It made me cry as well. You are right...with each passing phase of life, there are bitter-sweet things about each. I'm so glad Josh was there to experience Charlotte's birth with you.
Lucy, that was a beautiful, beautiful story. I'm so glad you shared it with all of us!
Wow... reading your account of Charlotte's birth made me cry. I am so happy for you all.
I have such a tender spot in my heart for you Lucy and so proud of the "woman" you have become! Remembering many fun times of you being with our family! THANK YOU for mentioning the Zinn family in your blog!! There IS JOY IN THE JOURNEY.....and you will find joy with the four wonderful children blessing your lives. We just returned home from a weekend with Amanda Ben and Marnie!! we talked about YOU and the choice experiences........ I LOVE YOU! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Congratulations on the final addition to your family (and while I'm at it, congratulations on getting married and the other three kids - it's been a while!)
It's great you remembered the prank that Melissa pulled on Marnie. I had forgotten she did that. I was always trying to keep her out of trouble, but it was difficult.
scott
Thanks for sharing this experience, Lucy- it was so beautiful :) I was tearing up. Congrats on your Caboose.
Thanks for sharing this experience, Lucy- it was so beautiful :) I was tearing up. Congrats on your Caboose.
Lucy, that was a beautiful story! You couldn't have expressed it any better and Charlotte will be so grateful for that someday! I was trying to call you today to get the rest of the details and Josh told me you weren't home, you were out jogging. Total deadpan...you were out jogging. I was speechless for a second, but I totally believed him and he had to tell me he was just kidding! Hey, you are superwoman, I seriously wouldn't put it past you!! Love your guts! :)
Lucy, I'm so happy for you. I can't believe this is your last baby! How exciting to be entering a new phase in life. I tried to call you today and can't fine your new number, will you email it to me or call me? HOpe all is well:)
Lucy, I'm so happy for you! Thank you for sharing your story.
You are both beautiful, as is your birth story. I cried, too. Simply beautiful. I'm praying for a amazingly blessed settling in process to your new home and family member.
You are both beautiful, as is your birth story. I cried, too. Simply beautiful. I'm praying for a amazingly blessed settling in process to your new home and family member.
You are both beautiful, as is your birth story. I cried, too. Simply beautiful. I'm praying for a amazingly blessed settling in process to your new home and family member.
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