Saturday, October 25, 2008

Parenting on the Move.



I'll get to this picture in a minute.

I want to start by saying I grew up moving. I moved 19 times in 20 years. My dad wasn't even active duty military at the time. We would have more kids, a better job, a divorce, a marriage, a college... all kinds of things kept us moving. I really don't know any thing else. The longest place I've ever lived is 3 1/2 years in Bloomington with Josh, in a 700 sq foot apartment, that we paid a whopping 410 a month for. Insane right? My van payment is more than that these days. It's probably bigger, too.

Most of you know, Josh and I are total opposites in almost everything, music, sports, personality. Common ground is the church, and our family. After my dating years had begun I began to realize I really wanted someone from a family that was stable, in more ways than one. This was important to me. I found Josh. His parents live in the same house they lived in when they got married. (technically it's twice as big, still same house) They've been married almost 30 years. Stability, Josh had it in spades.

Then he married me. Life began for him, this crazy moving, going everywhere kind of life. He's even lived in more places than me in the last 6 years. (7 states in 6 1/2 years) It's crazy.

Regularly, we've been the ones to leave, rarely the ones to be left. Recently my little Hallie's friend moved to Wyoming (her mother was a close friend to me), and this was Hallie's first good-bye to a friend. Colson's dealt with it a lot, but for some reason as I look at this picture of these little buddies, my heart ached for her. I realized she too knows what "loss" feels like. I was feeling terrible, I couldn't give my children what Josh had, the one house, the same friends, the constant. As I've thought more about it, is it really that bad?

I mean although my children haven't had one home they've had travels beyond anything I knew at their age, they've seen mountains, oceans, forests, corn fields, deserts, disneyland, monterey bay aquarium, tasted maryland blue crab, been to the top of Pike's peak, hiked the trails of Colorado Springs, enjoyed the breathtaking view of the Garden of the GOds, visited the battlefields of Gettysburg, explored this great nation's capital, including cherry blossoms, the White House, and war memorials, and monuments. They've been to Mount Vernon, orchards, and berry patches, flew in airplanes, explored corn mazes, and tasted ollalieberries... Seen Alcatraz, Pier 39, ridden a subway, and trolley, walked China Town, eaten chocolate crickets (BRANDEE!), explored a space museum in the middle of kansas, Rode a train through the giant redwood trees, walked the Naval academy, and have seen the following temples, Oakland, Washington D.C., Chicago, Denver, CO, Colombus, OH, Louisville Kentucky, Nauvoo, ILL, Palmyra, New York. They've walked the Sacred Grove, and been to the prison in which the great prophet Joseph Smith was martyred. They've taken their beloved father to the airport countless times with prayers in their hearts, prayers that were heard and answered. They're Seven and Four and One.

So I guess, I can stop worrying about what I'm not able to provide, and just do the best we can on the move.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

What a sweet post! I love reading what you have to say. Thanks for sharing some insight into your crazy life (as it always seems to help me with my crazy life too).

{leah} said...

WOW!!!
I think as long as the family is strong, it's stabile. And when they look back they will be able to say that theyturely know America and the great things she has to offer.

Crystal said...

I grew up moving all over the place and I've never thought it was a bad thing. I think it made me more outgoing, faster at making friends, and more open minded.

My only problem now is being away from the constant in my childhood. My parents and siblings. I had no idea how important they were in all that growing up. When you move all the time, your family become your friends. And I miss them dearly!

Sonia said...

Pike's Peak,yay!!!! Gotta bring them back when Colson's eight. I know your kids, and they are so well adjusted! Do they miss me?!?!?! :)

Sarah said...

I moved a lot growing up too -though not nearly as much as you. I don't know if moving was good for me or not. I've lived in places I've loved, and places I've hated. Sometimes I miss having a "home town". But when I really think about it, I've experienced a lot. I've seen a lot. And most importantly, if I hadn't moved when and where I did, I would have missed meeting the amazing people that I've become friends with.

Gwenda said...

My family never moved. I lived in the same house from birth to high school graduation and feel blessed for it. I'm a quiet, shy, reserved, private individual. The thought of moving, making new friends, starting over, scared me, even though I never had to do it. Staying in one place is all I know. (I did leave home at age 18 and lived in Illinois for one year doing volunteer work before coming home and going to college.) I look at people who move around a lot and think it's what they know, it's what they're used to, they adjust because they have to. Many of them like it that way -- moving often. Perhaps if my family had moved two or three times I wouldn't be as quiet, shy, reserved and private. Guess I'll never know.

Brandee said...

I love your post! Scott and I have been having this exact discussion lately - do we stay or do we go...yet again! We grew up the same as you guys. I moved around tons, he lived in the same house all his life. Which do we want for our kids... easy comfort and stability... or adventure and diversity. Thanks for helping me see you really can't go wrong either way! Don't forget the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz (home of the famed chocolate crickets...yum...crispy) it was just downright freaky! I want to see your belly - post some pictures!!